PSYCHOTHERAPY - WEEK THREE

The third week of my ten-week psychotherapy in a clinic has ended. It's exhausting. You not only have to deal with your own topsy-turvy emotions, insecurities, deep fears, uncertainties, and goodness knows what else, but you also have to deal with the same mixture from other people. And this despite just having finished my personal three-year self-therapy, and this is not my first psychotherapy in a clinic. In fact, it's about my fifth (each previous clinic period six months long) plus various individual psychotherapies (either group or individual, the longest being a weekly seven-year group therapy with a psychiatrist as therapist, which also included occasional weekend therapy).

All in the name of trying to unravel the severe damage and tangle of complex PTSD caused during childhood and later lifelong experiences.

It's a follow up to my three-year self-therapy, which included self-hypnosis, energy tapping, and the writing of my 515 page story (The Incurable Weight of Love) about my lifelong experiences of trauma and the severe complications, misery, and loneliness this caused me in life. It's also a story of survival, as my dramatic lifestyle got me into one adventurous difficulty after another. Written to help me not only gain the hoped for clarity (of the damage caused) but as part of the daily self-hypnosis as it provided me with material.

I had been tired (and angry) of the many failed psychotherapies and wasn't willing to start another. In my opinion, my self-therapy had achieved a great deal. However, I'd reached the point whereby I needed a little more than I could achieve alone. There is little doubt that the self-therapy has paved the way for the chances of (hopefully) a more fruitful psychotherapy this time. I'm certainly putting every bit of effort I can muster into it and consider myself now fortunate that I have spent years learning about the functioning of the brain and have gained so much insight. I hope to share some of this with you after this psychotherapy has finished in about seven weeks.