7th WEEK OF PSYCHOTHERAPY

On the downhill stretch, with the finishing line in sight. Is it the end or the start? Both I guess! The end of one thing and the start of another. Isn't that what life is about? Although such things can give difficulties, however not always. I guess it's wait and see. For the moment, I am still swimming in the deep end. Struggling at times, often exhausted, sometimes bugged by giving up thoughts, and occasionally wonder if it has all been worth it. But at the end of the day, no regrets. Just doubts. And keep ongoing. Psychotherapy is not the best for complex PTSD, but better than nothing. Moods change like the weather. Stormy, at times, sunny and warm at others, raindrops, snow, hailstones, thunder and lightning, gusting winds, and clear blue skies. One moment I'm struggling to climb some mountain of whatever with a grim look, the next I'm tobogganing down somewhere else with a smile on my face. I can collide with something on the way and go flying as though I am Batman. Then I'm the evil Joker, only to become Superman. Rescuing and screaming to be rescued. Can laugh in fun and cry in shame and guilt. My heart can mend and then break, only to mend again. Want to run away but stay because I've run so much in the past. I give it my best and hope for the best. Knowing it is down to me in the end. Just like it was at the beginning.